Monday, August 24, 2020

Dementia, Book, TV, Supper,

I guess I am an itch with a b in front.  Matt continuously says he loves me which is nice to hear, then he asks what I am going to do (this is supper time), work, I say, doing the dishes etc. etc. oh, he says, can I help you? Yes I say you can dry up (we don't have a dishwasher). Suddenly he is in agony again and crying because he "can't do it". Actually, he could, but he gives in to the muscle pain which is why he has it in the first place. He then starts to grizzle which annoys the hell out of me, and being the sweet tempered person I am (some hopes) it develops into a shouting match. I disappear for a while and sit here feeling guilty. When I go back into the living room, he has forgotten all about it. Wish I could. Just as well he can forget so easily otherwise I would never forgive myself.

I mentioned that I have been reading a book called Loving Someone with Dementia, one of the things they emphasize is how much alone caregivers can be and how they need  to build up a network of friends and/or family, whether actual or psychological - i.e. on the internet and such. It is great when I get support from my internet friends and I just wish some of them were closer. I have no close family. Although one cousin does keep in regular touch with me. I do have the support of a couple of close friends locally, as you know, ladydog in particular has been an extremely good friend.

Watched the end of season episode of Endeavour tonight, I find I really enjoy that series as well as Vera another cop show. Actually, thinking about it, I also watch Midsomer Murders, yet another cop show, didn't realise just how much I was into cop shows. Tonight there was also a programme about the Queen in War, which we both enjoyed. Matt doesn't watch a lot of TV any more. Don't think he understands a lot of what is going on. He does like music but that seems to be it mostly. I still don't know how to PVR programmes, I have to get in touch with Rogers. Probably find I have to pay extra to be able to do so.

I tried a new dish Sunday night, I was concerned about the water/liquid level but read the comments and it seems OK, however, one comment said it was tasteless. I agree, I ended up doctoring it with siracha, some sugar and a lot more salt. I also used garlic rather than garlic powder.

Instant Pot Pepper Chicken

1 lb boneless skinless chicken breast chopped
2 Tbs olive oil
1 green bell pepper chopped
1 red bell pepper chopped
½ onion chopped
1 Tbs garlic powder
4 Tbs water
1 tsp cumin
Salt and pepper to taste

1. Cut the chicken in cubes

2. Add oil into your Instant Pot and sauté chicken for 5 minutes, add the onion and bell peppers add continue sauté for 2 minutes.

3. Add the garlic powder, the cumin and the water to the chicken. mix well to combine everything.

4. Close the lid and cook on high pressure for 8 minutes.

5. Quickly release the steam and serve.

6. Serve with rice if desired.

Servings: 3

Source: Corrie Cooks

Have a great day, stay well, stay safe.


  1. No. You. Are. Not. A. Bitch.
    A bitch would have walked away a long, long time ago. You are stretched and tested every day and wouldn't be human if you didn't snap some times. Caring is indeed a very lonely job. And a very demanding one too. No knock off time and precious little time off. And that time off is usually as you well know when you have other appointments and you worry the whole time.
    So please, be as kind to yourself as you can.

    1. Thanks Sue. I still think I am. But it's nice to hear you give me reasons why I'm not.

  2. Dear Jo - it must be so difficult - I hear you and if I was nearer I'd be around to see you both. I'm afraid it's dementia - repetitive and not very stimulating ... I agree with you re the tv - I'm sure Matt can't take a story line in or tv programme. I don't know if there's an elder phone line - where people will ring you for a chat - silver volunteers or equivalent. Not the same ... but in times like these sadly we need to adapt to the way things turn out. Not at all easy ... take care ... and have a reasonable week - Hilary

    1. Thanks HIlary. I wish I could see you and my other internet friends, it would be such fun to meet everyone. Yes, Covid-19 doesn't help.

  3. If other couples could forget their intemperate words to each other it would be a good thing, but some seem to harbour grudges forever. The older I get the more that petty bickering and the like becomes unacceptable and quite pointless. Get over it and move on I say. In this general vein, I went to Vincenzo's on Saturday and had to join a lengthy lineup of shoppers waiting for their turn to enter the store, all wearing their masks and maintaining their social distance. The lady in front of me, a charming and lovely woman of about fifty-five years of age I would guess, glanced back at me and made a comment that business was good for the store. What ensued was a delightful chat to an obviously intelligent person, interesting and witty, and I was quite sorry when she entered the store ahead of me, and I lost contact with her. It seems to me that one can join the line and start to kvetch and whine right away, or one can accept the fact that, at least for now, this is what one has to do, and make it an agreeable experience. The glass really is half full most of the time. For dinner that night we made turkey burgers with interesting ingredients and barbecued them, and they were delicious. A Greek salad was a perfect accompaniment! And of course, before that, I had a wonderful appetizer - lovely conversation in bright sunshine. A good day altogether if you ask me!

  4. I have met people like that David. Just a fleeting acquaintances which one would love to pursue. We don't have a barbecue of course, but I really should make more use of our indoor/outdoor grill. It is something Matt used to use and I never have.

  5. You cook and do dishes. That is really something. I have a friend who is younger than me and she eats salads because she hates doing dishes (she has a dishwasher she won't use) therefore, she doesn't cook.
    You deserve a halo for your patience. I don't think I could handle it.

    I was a fan of Inspector Morse so I was really happy when Endeavor came along. Watched Vera when it first was on TV. Thought about you and Matt because our local station has a Riverdance special on Friday night. Not my cup of tea, but know it is yours.

    1. No choice in the matter really Denise although I do like to eat well. Matt had Meals on Wheels for a while when I was in hospital and was still getting them for a while. He thought they were dreadful. I didn't think they were too bad. If you had to handle it, you would Denise. But please, if you know someone in a similar situation, do offer them some help, even if it is only companionship.

      I like Vera, I think the actress is particularly good. I think I have tapes of the original Riverdance with Michael Flatley, he was an arrogant son of a b but in my opinion, a great dancer, the arrogance helped I think. Haven't watched in years though. I used to love it.

  6. Oh gosh, do your best to not feel bad...I know, way too tough to do and I know you know what you are going through even though it was with my mom and not a spouse. I can’t tell you how many times I finally blew my top and it would create such mayhem leaving me exhausted and my mom, no worse for wear since she forgot all about it. It is much worse on you than on Matt. My mom also had issues with her legs and the PSWks would massage her legs and then she could go to sleep after. I could at least, disappear somewhere on my main floor since my mom had her own place upstairs which you do not have so cut yourself some slack because you are doing all you can.

    1. Thanks Birgit. I know you are right, but it isn't easy is it? Actually, the living room and bedroom area are a fair distance apart which helps.