Christmas Orders.

A friend posted this on Facebook. I thought it was funny so I would share it.

Please note.....

All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last years well-publicised case, everyone is advised that
Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in
various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is
reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Merry Christmas,
The Risk Assessment Team

Here’s a pretty decadent looking recipe for Christmas.

Bûche de Noël

BBC Food

Paul Hollywood's sumptuous chocolate, raspberry and cream sponge falls somewhere between a Yule log and Swiss roll. Add a drop of Drambuie for a cheeky adult twist

Ingredients

vegetable oil , for greasing

150g golden caster sugar (use regular sugar or light brown sugar)

6 large eggs, separated

250g good-quality dark chocolate

icing sugar, for dusting (confectioner’s sugar)

FOR THE CREAM FILLING

400ml double cream , lightly whipped (whipping cream or heavier)

150g raspberries , defrosted if frozen

little Drambuie (optional)

FOR THE CHOCOLATE BUTTERCREAM

125g unsalted butter , softened

225g golden icing sugar (confectioner’s sugar)

25g cocoa powder , sifted

1 tbsp milk

Method

Heat oven to 220C/200C fan /gas 7. Line a 23 x 33cm Swiss roll tin with baking parchment and oil lightly. Whisk the caster sugar and yolks in a bowl until pale and thick. Melt the chocolate with 4 tbsp cold water in a bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Stir in the sugar mix.

Whisk egg whites to stiff peaks. Stir a spoonful into the chocolate, then fold in remaining using a large metal spoon. Pour batter into tin and bake for 12-14 mins until risen and just firm. Leave in tin until cold.

Lay a sheet of baking parchment on a board. With one bold movement, turn the cake onto the paper, then lift off the tin. Carefully peel away the lining paper.

Spread the whipped cream all over the cake, then scatter over the berries with a dribble of Drambuie, if you like. Starting at the long side opposite you, use the paper to roll the cake towards you. Transfer to a serving dish.

For the buttercream, beat the butter, then sift in sugar and cocoa. Add milk and mix together. Spread over cake, use a fork to create a log effect, and chill until needed. Decorate, dust with icing sugar and serve.

Have a great day